It’s been two years since I’ve left my ex. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made. The worst thing about being single is that sometimes you’re cockless.
The night before I left him, I was in Boat Quay with a bottle of whisky. I think I make great decisions when I drink. Or or or…drinking makes me think clearly.
I’ve been fingering until I hurt myself. This is the only time I hate my long nails. Here I am cock and cum hungry but cockless.
Anyway…I think this hunger has manifest itself. Eating half-boiled eggs for brunch…can’t help but thought of how similar they are to cum.
My helper asked, “Aren’t they too runny? Don’t they smell?”
“I like it like this…”
Tasting my cum from my fingers is definitely different than eating them up from a man’s fingers or cock. I miss Richard.
Two years ago today, I started my Tinder journey. Lo and behold…all the different cocks in the world!
See, I have a thing for different ethnicities and Tinder allows me to pick and choose. I need to get back on it…I am cock-hungry but cockless. So damn annoying.
I was terribly horny a few days ago. I couldn’t focus at work. I was supposed to meet Oscar but he was stuck at work and only got home after midnight. Great. Just great.
I called Richard during lunchtime, telling him I had that burning desire and needed a cock in me. Unfortunately he is nine hours away by flight…in Australia. Fuck.
In the evening, we talked on the phone again. It was an emotional rollercoaster; one moment I was laughing, the next moment I was crying. He asked if I my diet changed recently, and other questions…trying to figure this shit out.
The only difference this month is my period. It lasted for 16 days. This is excluding the lighter days. Yes. I was bleeding for more than half of the month. Why? I believe my cycle was trying to regulate itself. I missed it last month, and a few months ago, I was on pills to pause my period. This month, it came with vengeance.
Richard did some reading on Google and found out that I was going through some hormonal imbalace. Great. Just great. “Well…you have a first-hand experience of pregnancy,” he said. Jeez. I don’t want to go through that.
Usually, I’m very good at compartmentalising my emotions, but this time… I failed. Fuck hormonal imbalance. I was superbly horny and uneasy and crazy and urgh! It drives me up the wall. An entire day of mania was so exhausting. I crashed the following day. A friend said it sounds like bipolar disorder; I thought so too. I’m glad it’s over.
It’s been eight months since my last entry. I couldn’t bring myself to write. Was involved with a mental man. He found out about my other blog and went mental because he can’t deal with my past, saying things like “If I’m a bad person, I would have sent pictures of you to your mother”. Isn’t that blackmailing? He affected me so much, I broke down at work a few times. Moving on…
I’ve been thinking of importing posts from that blog here but I’m 50-50 about it. I need to write. I suffered from a manic episode a few nights ago and I need to release that in writing.
That aside, WordPress has been a dick. I have domain names in my head, unused by anyone but they just won’t let me have it so I settled for two new ones last night. I even created a new email account for that but I couldn’t log in to WordPress today because they didn’t send me any activation link to my email and blah blah blah. After a long time…I came up with Maneater Mania. The last few hours have been crazy! Whatever it is…
I’m glad I’m back.
maneater mania 